High Maintenance Mom

HMM's Book of the Month for July (yes, this is a new feature) is Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys . I completely agree with The Washington Post who on the cover of the paperback version writes, ..."required reading for anyone raising a boy....". On page 17, I paused and looked over at my Father in Law, a former Pediatrician now Lawyer and said I was hooked! We all know that boys and girls are different and same sex schools are nothing new. But what is new is teaching boys and girls differently based on their differences and focusing on what boys and girls need and more specifically what they aren't getting from educators and parents. It is a concept worth exploring in my opinion. In Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, the authors show us through case studies how some boys are not allowed and/or not taught how to have an "inner life". It's this "inner life" or strong sense of self coupled with an emotional vocabulary that allows boys and thus men to handle their emotions both internally and externally. Seems simple really but the authors suggest that young girls are given the words, the vocabulary to express their feelings, deal with their feelings and move on. However, young boys are asked to "suck it up" and are said to be "just acting like a typical boy". These labels and expressions do not help boys deal with the things that go on in their worlds, inside their heads and in turn hurt them. While I loved the first few chapters of the book, I found chapter 12, What Boys Need, to be the most direct and helpful to me. It is seven points that the authors say, "...have the potential to transform the way you nurture and protect the emotional life of the boy in your life.". If you read only one chapter in the book, read chapter 12. I read several pages to my husband and will reread the book again, I am sure. I am also thinking of buying the DVD. Enjoy!